Hello everyone!
Great news this week! Do you want to take a guess what arrived yesterday?
Hint:
That’s right! We got a table! And it’s life-changing.
I am finally able to work with all my sketches, computer, and pencils spread out around me. There is no need to worry about breaking a box by pressing too hard in the wrong place. My back no longer need contort so I can work on the floor.
And on a more personal note it makes meals and morning coffee with my partner enjoyable. Setting a table is romantic. Locating extra hard surfaces that can act as stabilizers for our plates and cups is less so.
We decided to bite the bullet and buy a table after a fateful find a few days before. While walking home, we saw them.
Trash chairs.
Later my partner went back and grabbed 3. I cleaned them. Thoroughly. And now they sit with pride beneath a non-trash table.
Our biggest regret was someone else grabbed the last two before we could grab one more to make a set of four. Truly there are no rules when it comes to trash furniture.
Thanks to all of those who sent nice messages about my sleep issues. I’ve managed to fall asleep without the pills for last four nights before 2 in the morning. Progress!
Links to stories:
My favorite from this week is this one where I imagine all the ways I could use my surplus tampons that some lawmakers assumed I’d hoard if they were not taxed.
Because reading job postings has become a literal part-time job for me, I did a rewrite of an older piece in which a writer seeks inspiration via job boards. Muses who wish to be paid need not apply.
If you’ve read those “Am I The Asshole?” threads on Reddit then you will recognize this format. Eric, from Phantom of the Opera, just wants to know if he is indeed the asshole in the relationship. And I think you will agree, he is.
I’ve seen way too many movies where the plot is driven by popular games that kids play (Bloody Marry, Light as a feather, the Midnight man) and so I’ve imagined what other movies they could make given the variety of games they can choose from.
I probably need a section for life coach humor since I write so much of it. But here is a piece in which a phoenix tells you how to change your life. Essentially you need to burn your old life to the ground, and rise from the ashes.
Thanks for reading!
Other writers I enjoy:
Audrey is a prolific comedy writer with stories across the web. She’s a joy to read on Twitter as well. Take a look at this story, Our New Weight-Loss App For Kids Is Totally Worth The Risk.
Maria is a hilarious writer who nails specificities like few others. Check out her piece, You Didn’t Get the Job Because You Loved Good Charlotte Too Much to get a taste of her humor.
I hope you enjoyed this newsletter! Substack updated their platform so I believe you can leave comments now and I’ll make sure I check them once a day if you have any questions, comments, tips, or concerns.
Kyrie
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